Bow to Hamilton College. Lower. Lower. Lower. There. The 14th or 15th or 16th or whatever ranked liberal arts college in the country just zipped past the top 10 and is now number one, past Williams, Amherst, Wellesley, and every other college and/or university that hasn't locked up Derek Jeter for a guest speaking performance. Yes, that's correct. Derek Jeter, the guy who just scored the Yankees' fourth run against the Bo Sox tonight (overall: 2-4, 1 run in the 4-1 win) and maybe the most famous player in the history of the world's most famous franchise, will be speaking on the hill at Hamilton College December 10, a Wednesday, or the same night of the week in which I've played Settlers of Catan for the past 13 months. If my 52-plus Settlers streak wasn't already going to end this summer, it would have on December 10.

Already, I've taken a leave of absence from work -- and I don't even know where exactly I'll be working in December. My brother -- who didn't even go to Hamilton but is arguably DJ's biggest male fan -- will likely take his leave tomorrow. My next step is somehow getting in touch with the few guys I know who have gone to Duke for tips on how best to pitch a tent and camp all night for tickets. I really want that first row, though in some ways I want the back one so that I'll be one of the last people to see him leave...

At first glance, it doesn't really make sense that Jeter would be speaking at a college nor does it really make sense that he would choose Hamilton College. As far as I know, Jeter has never before addressed a live mass audience other than during the Yankees' previous five World Series parades. He doesn't even like public speaking, evidenced by the last twenty years of perfectly but plainly answered media questions. Jeter does his best to make his responses as uninteresting possible. In front of a crowd of thousands (tens of thousands? hundreds of thousands?), he's suddenly in a position where has to entertain.

Of course, by next December Jeter will be able to say exactly (or closer to exactly) what he wants for the first time since he was a teenager. The exercise might be cathartic for the extremely cautious shortstop. Finally, he can fully showcase the personality that's made him one of the most respected Yankees of all time, that's made him the team's first captain since Don Mattingly, and that's seduced all those gorgeous women.

Without worrying about distracting the team or himself from the only goal of winning baseball games, Jeter will probably enjoy public speaking. Still -- assuming he doesn't have any other collegiate engagements before December (obviously he has none scheduled for this October) -- it's a little odd that he would choose Hamilton, a prestigious yet small liberal arts college in central NY, for his debut.

Hamilton is actually a more likely destination than one might think. For one, the school pays guest speakers extremely well. (I've heard $250,000 or more for previous visitor Jon Stewart.) If Jeter truly wants to own a baseball team one day, he'll have to find ways to earn money outside of baseball. Guest speaking for an hour or so is an easy 250k.

Second, Hamilton, though located in the farmlands of upper New York, has a strong presence in New York City. Many graduates move and stay there for work. Even so, it must have taken the influence of someone or a group of someones very strong in the alumni network to woo Derek Jeter. That's the real story here.

Is Jeter the biggest name in the nation right now, sports or otherwise? He could be. I made the argument earlier tonight that Jeter is a better draw at this moment in his career than Barack Obama. After all, the President makes speeches all the time; Jeter's never even made one. Plus, the Captain's final year will induce the most media coverage, well wishes, tears, etc. ever for a retiring athlete. With another candidate set to take his place, Obama's final year in 2016 won't be nearly as huge. In fact, it'll likely be overshadowed by whoever wins the election.

I'm not sure any human being currently living in the United States could create more hype than Derek Jeter in 2014, his last year of professional baseball. Maybe only Vladimir Putin or some other controversial foreign leader could generate a bigger buzz.

Derek Jeter. Coming to Hamilton. "It's the biggest news since the merger," former Hamilton student and New Jersey resident Stu Volks said.

Volks is referring to the year 1978, when Hamilton and their neighboring women's college, Kirkland, became one. On December 10, for a few precious hours, we'll get to see "Two."

-Scott Bickard '11

Jeter's career hits: 3323