Men And Women Who Fear Being Single Tend To End Up In Bad Relationships
ByLoneliness or the fear of being single may be the reason why you or your otherwise brilliant friends frequently partner up with less-than-ideal mates, according to new research LiveScience reported.
Researchers at the University of Toronto found that in both men and women the fear of living the single life is a "meaningful predictor" of settling for less in relationships.
"Those with stronger fears about being single are willing to settle for less in their relationships," Stephanie Spielmann, who led the study, said in a statement. "Sometimes they stay in relationships they aren't happy in, and sometimes they want to date people who aren't very good for them."
Spielmann said people's anxieties about being single play a key role in these types of unhealthy relationship behaviors.
For the study, researchers surveyed several samples of North American adults, consisting of undergraduate students from the University of Toronto and community members from Canada and the United States. The average age of those sampled was around 30, but respondents varied in age from 17 to 78.
Based on the study, those who feared being single seemed to recognize that they were making poor decisions about who to date.
According to the press release, when researchers asked people how much they wanted to date someone who seemed like a jerk, those who feared being single acknowledged that the person didn't seem nice and that they would be less likely to have a successful, lasting relationship with the person. However, they were willing to date this person.
Spielmann said this observation suggest that those who fear being single don't necessarily have blinders on when it comes to making their relationship decisions. But they seem to want a relationship so badly that they're willing to overlook some warning signs.
In the study, researchers also found that the image of the older, single woman as the prototype of fear of being single might not hold true. The study showed both men and women share similar levels of concern about being single.
"In our results we see men and women having similar concerns about being single, which lead to similar coping behaviors, contradicting the idea that only women struggle with a fear of being single," Geoff MacDonald, co-author and professor at the college's Department of Psychology, said in a statement.
Spielmann said she hopes this study will help those who fear being single to become more secure and make better relationship decisions.
"At the very least, what we now know can serve as a reminder to question why you're making the choices you do in your relationships," she said. "And to try to focus on making decisions that are truly in your best interest."