The signs are oh-so-familiar: clammy hands, erratic heartbeat, and sudden loss for words every time you see the object of your affection. This is what we call the signs of falling in love; however, psychologists call this limerence.
Limerence was first coined by Dorothy Tennov, a psychologist who interviewed more than 500 people about the topic of love. Her studies led her to write a book called "Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being In Love" and to coin the term which is described as emotional attachment to someone.
According to her, limerence is one of the two types of love where the other is what she called as loving affection, such as the bond that exists between parents and children. However, these two can evolve into one or the other where one couple's feelings for each other started in limerence to affectionate love.
Tennov's initial study about the science of love led to more studies and lectures by other academics from various fields. One thought-provoking lecture was from Melvin Konner, a biological anthropologist, who posed a question what if the purpose of love is not really to bind people together but to set them apart.
He then argued that love makes people irrational leading them to leave an existing relationship for another. Although science cannot exactly answer Konner's question, it has an explanation why people (and animals) behave the way they do when they are "in love."
Scientists conducted a series of experiments about what's happening inside the brain when people think they are in love or falling in love. The MRI scans showed that the pleasure center of the brain lights up when they are "in love." This region is the same region that gets activated by addictive drugs.
Furthermore, the body releases a concoction of various chemicals, such as dopamine, adrenaline, norepinephrine, which are the same chemicals found in those who have obsessive-compulsive behavior.
Although neurobiology gives a concrete description of what happens in love, science cannot really explain the purpose why people fall in love. To find a concrete answer, scientists look at the consequences of love and the data showed that the numbers pile up on people forming relationships and breaking up.
This further proves that both in fidelity and infidelity, the footprint of "love" is there. It's love that binds people together and it's love which drives them towards another person and ditch the other one.
